It's the Strangest Thing

I work in a corporate setting. One of the issues I deal with on a daily basis is seeing people in the bathroom. If you have ever worked anywhere with a restroom that has two stalls or more, you should know what I'm talking about. It may be differ depending on whether you are male or female. It may also differ if you work in a smaller work environment with several stalls. That would be waaayyy more awkward. I personally feel that there are several rules when using a public restroom in a work environment. Females want to be chatty in any situation, but it's just so awkward.

Here are a few guidelines I think are just basic for this type of situation...

1. Time entry to the restroom when no one else is entering. Sometimes this is unavoidable.
2. Carry a water cup to the restroom and if you see someone about to enter when you get close to the restroom door, walk on by with your water cup and fill up before using the restroom.
3. Do not talk on a cell phone.
4. When entering the restroom, hurry into stall #1 before the person in stall #2 comes out. Eye contact in the restroom is scary.
5. Exit stall #1 only after the person who just came into stall #2 has shut their door.
   Visa versa: exit the stall only after you know the person in stall #2 is still finishing their business and not coming out anytime soon. Listen for sounds of zippering and pulling pants up.
6. Cough when doing the dirty to disguise the obvious. I'm sorry but I don't understand how some people have super bowels and they can hold it all day.
7. Do not make conversation, but if someone says hello don't be rude.

I am writing this because there is one lady in particular who completely avoids these rules and frankly shoves them in my face! This lady works in the kitchen and I don't know what the deal is but we use the restroom at the same time A LOT. She seems very nice but totally oblivious to the unspoken rules of using the restroom. She is a repeat offender.

1. Starts a conversation with me every time I see her.
2. Talks on her cell phone while on the toilet.
3. Always comes in right after I have entered.
4. Doesn't ever avoid eye contact. In fact she pointedly looks at me as we're entering our stalls!

I have come to realize that she is my bathroom buddy. As disconcerting as this is, I have come to terms with it. Honestly, I could go without hearing about how "so and so isn't cooperating and was jumping on the couch" etc. whilst on the pot, but I guess I'll have to put up with it. For some reason it's unavoidable.

I'm sorry if these might be deemed "inappropriate". I tried to tone it down as much as possible :0)

P.S. My brother Jodie flies in tonight and I'm going to pick him up with Melodi. I'm so excited to see him!